Attitude

I read somewhere once that we live within the confines of our activities. Our reality is what we do, who we are, how we relate to those around us. We develop styles of relating, routines of doing, etc. This seems to keep us going and accountable to ourselves while we are getting there.

In this “what we are” “how we have are defined” by ourselves and those around us, and “how we do things” becomes a lot of who we are. A personal tradition rules in large part without necessity of much thought or decision making.

Think about it:

You encounter a person or event for which you have already formulated your definition for it. An example: You are on your way to this party at your Aunt’s. They are always boring beyond belief. You can’t wait to leave. There is a bias involved in your expectation of the event that is difficult to overcome and accept should it turn out to be enjoyable and interesting.

We experience moments of freedom when we find ourselves in a completely new and different event, one for which we have neither familiarity nor preexisting attitude with which to encounter it. We have never been here before. We do not have a formula to use with it nor do we have the experience with which to employ a pre-decided bias.

I for one in such an event feel exhilaration and freedom. Boredom is broke. Everything is new and mine to decide how I relate to it. Sometimes these are difficult. A kid in a new school can find it a kick or a curse. Leaving home and taking on the world as a young adult can be a joy. It has so much to do with what you make of it.

This has been my reaction to my diagnosis of mild dementia. At first I went through the Kubler-Ross formulated steps of grief. When I was through with it I came to a personal decision: “So, what are you going to do about it?” My answer: “Make the best of it!”

What followed was the most freeing event of my life. I no longer have to be anyone or anything that was expected of me. I am not what is expected of me by me or by anyone else. This led me to the decision to take what I had been diagnosed as having and use it to help others. My purpose in this is to make this terrible disease that is mine the course of which is dreadful “Count for Something!”

That is what I am about with my diagnosis more than two years ago. My acceptance of it has given me more peace and serenity than I ever though possible.