Looked at in retrospect, how very foolish it is to do this. Confronted with conflict we then complicate that conflict, join it and add to it. Self defeating, you bet your butt!
Breathe in Breathe out. Slowly, deeply, do this. You can stay in the condition of conflict. At the same time you maintain your calm by breathing in and breathing out as if you were in meditation. Doing this you can bring yourself to your center, avoid escalating and buying into cacophony produced by the conflict. You thereby retain your own integrity. You stay you. You do not take a new position one which contains some of the irrationality with which you are faced.
So said a writer on Buddhism as I read it last night. Find it this morning? No way, my unique brand of Alzheimer’s Disease (AD) keeps me from finding where it was in order to quote it here. I can recall the context of what was said and that appears above.
I cite this for this reason.
I have a brother recently evidencing substantial personality change. After six months of consultation with our best in the world Medical Profession, after six months being told he is depressed nothing more, on the instance of another brother, a lawyer, telling the doctor of the liability for mis-diagnosis like this, they finally opened their eyes, did an MRI and found Frontal Lobe Dementia.
The personality change, equaling bizarre behavior, is finally explained although evident for more than six months. The poor guy has dementia, brain damage! Because i
of it he doesn’t have a clue.
What do you do? Brother refused to acknowledge a problem, fails to deal with some issues that if not dealt with appropriately will be personally damaging to him.
My first recommendation to his lawyer and my brother the lawyer, let him swing in the wind. Exercise tough love like we do in AA when an alcoholic refuses to do for him/her self. But is this right?
I read the Essay just posted in Alzheimer’s Reading Room entitled Alzheimer's World Two Circles Trying to Intersect: Now I am not so sure.
What is dysfunctionality in trying to deal with the problem of another when he seems too pig-headed to face it himself? What constitutes compassion when face with a guy unable to see his problem or the jeopardy it places him in by reason of an addled brain and inappropriate thinking process?
The article posted gives this recommendation:
In this particular case you have to get to know a person and deal with a person that is often mean, and often does things that make you angry.The answer I do not have. Nonetheless I see the problem.
You really have two choices. The first choice is easy -- walk away. Or, you have a second choice -- to learn how to love and care for someone that does things that normally would make you do what you would do in choice one -- walk away.
You have to choose. You can choose change and understanding. Or, you can try what I call the hamster approach. Run around the hamster wheel faster and faster, and get no where fast.
If you choose the hamster approach you'll most likely end up bitter and angry, or worse --depressed.
You are the one that must decide.