On this bench with this person in the place out of nowhere
Lorli kept expounding.
She said some years ago they were suffering the ravages of
DD (Dementia Decline) and finding no relief. It was devastating so much of the
population, the seniors and the middle aged in epidemic proportions, we
searched and searched and could not find a way of stopping it.
We had other terrible diseases that took lives and ravaged
segments of our society and were able to find drugs eventually to cure them. We
saw no reason that we could not do the same with DD. It had a fairly common
course and seemed to attack the brain in similar if not the same ways.
We tried and came up empty. Too many years of research
produced little but some drugs that could slow the process down. When we were
reaching the point of diminishing return where too many were being cared for at
a cost that communities and the State along with the families could no longer
afford to do we realized we had to do something or put all these patients in
the street.
By this time we were doing no more than treating it palliatively,
giving the afflicted drugs to comfort them, institutionalizing them for their
safety, accepting the uncontrollable consequence of the disease and waiting for
them to die. It would have save money to euthanize them but mercy killing was
prohibited by law and no one was anxious to change that even for special
exceptions like this.
An international dialog started discussing whether or not
there was value in continuing funding research to find a cure or time to accept
it was a lost cause.
Instead of arriving at a yea or a nay the argument turned to
trying alternative ways attack this disease and see if this approach could be
in any way effective.
There had been many arguments about life style changes in
diet, in physical activity, in socialization of people afflicted which might make a
difference. We also adopted a wider study of processes in other diseases that
would help. Finally in my field we looked at how the brain operated. We asked,
is it possible to get the organicity of the brain to overcome the injury the
brain was sustaining from the disease.
What finally spanned the chasm between those who wanted to
continue putting all their effort into raising funds to find a cure, and those
who wanted to look for something else, when a comment was published by an
editor of a country weekly newspaper that found its way into this argument.
That comment was retrievable from the kiosk that had delivered
a copy of the article Research
Brief: Hippocampal Hyperactivity referred to in the last two chapters.
The text of that comment was this:
Not If, Not When But Why Don’t We Start Before It Eats Us Alive
It is not a question of “if”; It is
not a question of “when” are they going to help? It is an issue of “Why” don’t
they see they are so needed, if only for an interest in us if nothing more. I
speak not from the standpoint of a caregiver. I speak for the one who is cared
for. God Bless the caregivers we have and the folks that continue with an
interest in how we are and how we get along.
Virtual abandonment is one of the
worst anomalies we must deal with after we’re diagnosed as having a Dementia.
It is equal to the feelings of the Caregiver who is also abandoned. The only
difference is we do not suffer the exhaustion and the total lack of validation
a Caregiver gets doing the thankless job they have taken on.
We at least have the loving concern
of our Caretakers.
Why? There are a million reasons
out there, too many to count. Many emanate from a misguided Society in which we
are acculturated not to care for anyone else but ourselves. If we are imbued
with a lot of altruism it may manifest itself in concern and care for our
spouses and families, but generally it goes no further.
We are the guy in that story of the
executive who suffered a near fatal heart attack. When he had recovered
sufficiently he was released to go home. His wife asked as she came to pick him
up: “Are you anxious to get home?” He said “would you drop me off at the
office, I will call you when I am ready to go home.”
This is the guy who will have the epitaph
on his tombstone: “He Worked Hard and Supported His Family Well.”
Why would a person be so honored in
his death remembrance? After more than 500 years of living the rule of the
survival the fittest, since we canonized Capitalism as our way of life, we have
been acculturated accordingly. We have become assimilated to a political,
social, and cultural way of life that turns us inward to ourselves. We have completely
embraced this way of life and believe implicitly in a formula to protect us and
give us the greatest return.
We have been brought to believe so
long as we concentrate on acquiring as much wealth as we can at the expense of
all others, and so long as the other guy does the same thing, this will force a
balance among us in which all receive the greatest measure of return as
possible.
It is for this reason we live on
personal islands and connect with others only when it is in our self- interest
to do so. We are responsible only to those we have allowed on our island. The
fact is this self-indulgence is taking its toll. The abandonment of our sick
and elderly, of the demented, is evidence that our system is failing us.
To suggest Capitalism has not
produced what it proposed would be suicide. Capitalism is not the perfect check
and balance on keeping parity, on maintaining a balance of fairness. There are
better ways if only we have the courage to adopt them. Too many who are prospering
through advantages and voids in the balance would vehemently oppose such
thoughts. "Commies” used to be their charge, now it is simply “Liberals”.
This coupled together with broken
thinking, broken families, broken outlooks, philandering institutions all
taking advantage of us, together they are major contributor. Our society
centers on “me”. If I do my best I will both succeed and keep everyone else in
check as they try to succeed.
We do not have rules of engagement;
in this we simply compete. There is no overall moral or spiritual good given us
in our training for life, we are given rules, with too few explanations for
their reason. We are told to simply to stay in their guidelines, like “Know
love and serve Him in this world and be happy with him in the next”.
Then those who tell us “do this don’t
do that” do the contrary in spite of what they say. The Church, (RC), promotes
sexual abstinence then we see the celibate clergy use aberrant forms of sex for
abuse. We see bankers under the color of protecting us actually extorting us.
The politicians say they will serve us and turn around and do what their puppet
master secretly pay them to do.
Is it any wonder this duplicity
spoils our outlook and action? There is no sense of responsibility leading us. We
follow a rule of protect your tail and manage to get ahead anyway. Avoid
anything painful unless it the biding the time necessary to nurture your success.
This is and historically has been
our way. It follows a formula we trust. It is in fact a formula that is eating
us alive. No one is around asking “What
can I do for you? Or “Can I help?” The formula will not work that way. Help
comes from those who help themselves!
Is it any wonder that any but the
closest care when someone checks out of the race. They have not time but to
continue the race until it is too late and they are the ones checking out.
When I returned
I read an article in Alzheimer's
Reading Room entitled Alzheimer's
and The Invisible Siblings that put me in mind of the comment Lilo gave me
and on her history about what happened to DD in “Nowhere”
Read it by
clicking on the reading room or the article title to read it.
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