It’s Mild Cognitive Impairment. Now What?

Mild Cognitive Impairment (MCI) is it a worthwhile alternative as a working diagnosis, or does it create more confusion and constitute an impediment to treatment of Dementia?  It is this question that produces a forest of paradox when dealing with the “Now What?” of acknowledging the possibility of Dementia by way of diagnosis.

My diagnosis was a gift in the wrapping of a Curse! I was lucky! I was very early on with diagnosis at age 69. Now 75 I have had the time, the reflection, the fortitude to recognize the gift nature of it.

The gift is in the end of life challenge it has given me. There is nothing boring about this last stage of my life. In the Curse Wrapping I found the Gift in the challenge it made of me. I had two choices in dealing with it. Berate the gods for it or make the best of it. I chose the latter and that made the curse into something at least tolerable.

All of this came to mind as I read: It’s Mild Cognitive Impairment. Now What? An article in the New York Times. I have posted it in my archive, click on it to read it.

As I started doing what I could with it and not lamenting about it, I started to realize purpose because of this. All my life with many successes and equivalent number of failures, I came up empty on the satisfaction side. Something was missing. I had no idea; just the sense of something in terms of satisfaction was not there. I was always in need of something more!

Came the blow of blows, equal in torment to a diagnosis of Alcoholism 30 years before. I started my course of dealing with it, learning to cope with yet another limitation.

In the course of this last five years I came to realize: I have accepted it. It is purposeful in that plan of living I seemed to be following (certainly not my plan because of all the painful crap it entailed). Its purpose seemed to be having something to work at that put me into contact with some form of Transcendence. Wow!

What was the nature of this producing such a sensation?

1.     The good I was doing for others by advocating, speaking and writing about the experience of it.

2.     The good it was doing me doing something creative and intellectual week in week out.

3.     The sense I was finally leaving a track I could be remembered by.

What a blessing this turned out to be. I am still on a downward swing, not near as fast as I expected and filled with a quality of life unsurpassed in all of my 69 years that preceded it. Recovery from Alcoholism made me whole. Involvement with the destiny given me by Dementia put blossoms on that plant growing for the past 69 years.

The peace and serenity, the sense of purpose of it all has been a wonderful experience.

Now the question is: How do I get others to believe it is there for the taking?

In this I believe some direct change of what orbits around Alzheimer’s Disease (AD), Dementia, Senility, all the other clothes this very common syndrome has worn is necessary.

The first change is to quit sensationalizing AD. When one hears mention of Dementia in public a mild reaction is produced in us. When AD is mentioned an intense reaction is incurred. Why?

AD has acquired a Stereotypic Definition. Its definition is of one who is totally incompetent unable to care for themselves or be coherent in any way.

This happens. It will happen to me. When I think about that I work harder on the best self-help plan out there called the “BEST PRACTICES: Eat Right, Exercise Daily, Get Involved in Stimulating Intellectual, Social and Creative Activity, Take your Medication.” So far my life has had more quality to it than any other time in it.

In the effort to raise more money to find the cure the professional support groups have emphasized the sensational side of AD. They say: “It makes you crazy, incompetent, you continue to exist forgetting everything and everyone around you, then you die, No Cure, No Relief in sight, you are simply left to suffer through it with the only thing able to be done is be kept safe and palliated like bring on the drugs!”

There next step in this scenario followed time and time again is: “We need you to contribute more so we can eradicate this horrible disease or you will get it! We can’t do anything for you but keep you safe until we institutionalize you than we can dope you up to feel no pain at all until you croak!”

With this working definition of AD anyone told they might have it can only react to the cataclysmic view of what it is made out to be. The fact is, and I can say this on the experience of it, it is far better to know what it is rather than denying its possibility and constantly working harder to keep up. Form experience I can say as others do, all the time it was developing before diagnosis I was quite aware something was awry with me and I had no idea what it was. I just knew I wasn’t getting things as quickly, and I had to work so much harder on things that were so easy in the past.

I have heard this from so many and certainly it was my view, I felt so much better when I know the reason things were awry. It was a relief to have a reason, to be able to say yes it is the disease and not me. Funny, it is all me, but thinking in terms of not me but the disease comes as a relief to so many of us.

This is what allows us to tolerate our diagnosis and work on slowing its development. This is the value of an early diagnosis. It returns to you the quality of life that somehow went missing.

I know what my ultimate future is, unless I am blessed with death before that happens. I do not know when the ultimate future will happen. I am doing all in my power to slow it from happening.

I have the confidence and the satisfaction that when it comes about I will be better cared for and more at peace because I have learned how to deal with this disease and refuse to let it be a burden to me. I also have the hope that when this happens the constant care I will need will be of a type and kind that is affordable and produces further quality of life.

I believe my small contribution will help in reaching this goal.