I Have This Terminal Disease,
It Moves So Slow It Is Killing Me!
Dementia Endured
One of 25 Best Alzheimer’s Blogs of 2012
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Mike Donohue is a brave man. Courageous, direct, and bold, his blog energizes readers with a passion for action. Dementia Endured gives a hint in the title as to the nature of this talented writer: he will endure. And with a personality like Mike’s, it’s easy to believe that he shall overcome, as well!
His life experiences are opened to the reader, and his journey recovering from alcoholism to adjusting to Alzheimer’s holds its own fascination for visitors to his site. Mike’s strength and determination will remind readers that dementias are one area in which it’s best not to hold any punches.
THIS BLOG IS ABOUT MY JOURNEY FROM AA TO AD.
I have survived alcoholism from which
I recovered thirty six years ago then
Alzheimer's disease with which I was
diagnosed nearly five years ago. Both
have had profound consequence. They
are associated, one leading to the other.
I write about the experience in a book
entitled From AA to AD, a Wistful Travelogue
click on the title to go to it or read more
about it in the column to the right
Monday, February 27, 2012
LIFE: THIS FINITE WONDERFUL PLACE IN TIME!
There is a design to
our lives. It is our Plan that manages us through the design for our life. What
is that design. It is best described in my Blog post Working
To the Endpoint and its companion post Our
Way, No Other! both of which can be accessed by clicking on their titles.
Plan as referred to in the above posts is different than Design
in this respect: The Plan actuates the Design. It is the software that the
plan, metaphorically as the computer or CPU, uses to carry out the purpose of
the Plan.
In an essay posted some time ago, and posted again in my
archive to accompany this post, entitled: LIFE:THIS FINITE WONDERFUL PLACE IN TIME Click on it to go there to read it; I close
that essay with this conclusion as it pertains to Plan and Design:
It is a process, a
process through which we are enlightened. Our enlightenment comes when we look
beyond our material consequence and try to see what might be more. It is at
this time, in this way, that we transcend our material consequence. The design
of our lives is intended to get us to this point and to work on it, even before
we leave our material consequence.
It is at the Endpoint that we can touch the Cosmos, touch
God, or whatever lies ahead for us. It is putting the frosting on the cake.
This is why my heart soars as I see myself completing my life here in this
finite world. I can touch on its purpose and its result all of which I can
carry out of this life as I leave it and go to whatever is beyond.
What is that result? It is transcending our materiality,
transcending the limitations generic to our material life. It becomes evident
that our life is a formula available to us with which we can improve our
existence in that conscious part of us that precedes, supersedes and succeeds
our life. In that respect I describe our lives, our reality here as we believe
it to be, as an Algorithm among Algorithms. Algorithm defined is: A precise step-by-step plan for a computational procedure
that begins with an input value and yields an output value in a finite number
of steps
Taking purpose out of our life makes it a sham, why bother
with the joy and the heartbreak that life entails. As up needs down, light
needs dark, suffice it to say the logic of Yin needing Yang in our world
directs us to the purpose of this world, to us in this world, to the course we
follow in it and the end we reach.
It is that reason I say “There is more than meets the eye!”
We tend to be all taken up with this world in which we operate, so much so we
do not have any time to look further. But at the endpoint if not before the
process forces us to look beyond this life. We penetrate the sparkling curtain,
the sparkle of which clouds our view of looking through the transparency this
sparkling curtain in fact is. We see beyond once we recognize its transparency.
We see the wonder that is beyond. Retrospectively we realize
the wonder the awesome thing the life that carried us to this point in fact has
been. Seen in this life every event that preceded the impact of seeing through
the curtain, seeing where we have been we realize: What seemed to be a series
of chaotic events finds its order and reveals its purpose. The purpose revealed
is found beyond this life based on the supposition that we will go there and
take the purpose and the performance with us. It supposes this “where which is
beyond” is transcendent to the finite world in which we have sojourned.
Is this pie in the sky, the product of wishful thinking? We
need only look at the process of life as we know it. We are born into it, we
live and learn in it, we follow a course to which our learning directed us; we
complete that course recognizing the previous two stages are done and the last
stage we find ourselves is filled with time and with an introspective need to determine
what it has been all about.
Not everyone does this, viz. faces a introspective urge.
Many keep on with what they have done in their middle years. They may not need
to but have difficulty giving up the apparent joy of what they have done in
those middle years, or they are simply afraid to let go what has worked for
them in the material world. There are many other reasons, but the material
return or the need to stay sheltered in routine are the primary two.
It is the lucky ones that can let go, can step out, and seek
out what more could there material existence entail. It is in this looking that
we all of a sudden see God, see our purpose, see our before and after which is
reflected in the Cosmos.
There are others of us not so lucky as to voluntarily step
out and look about. We are the ones that are forced to do this for extraneous
reasons.
In my case my force was Dementia, the need to cope with the
onset and the progress of it, the direction I took based on all the training my
life had given me. My 30 years with recovery from Alcoholism told me how to
deal with Dementia.
The doing of that, using the same tools, those tools mainly
comprised of “Turning it Over” stepping out of the way, letting the Plan as
insisting on My Way, delivered me to what appears to be the final plateau of my
life.
It is from the standpoint on this last plateau that I am
able to put birth, life, death together. This period of time has been so awesome,
purposeful and magical in what it has done with and for my consciousness.
It is another of the unseen things we apprehend being
in this world. In my case Dementia brought me to my knees to a level I could see "What it has been all about!" This has been the unseen ultimate effect of the curse I have been given that has metamorphisised into a gift.
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